secrets of a friend
by writinginmyjeans
Summary: The three times Lily protected Remus' secret, and the one time she did not need to. MaraudersLily friendhsip fic. Slight James/Lily


**Summary: **The three times Lily protects Remus' secret, and the one time she does not have to.

**A/n: **I haven't written a Harry Potter fic in a while, so please put up with my lack of language in this one. A warning to Snape lovers that this would protray Snape in a somewhat negative light so be warned.

**1.**

She discovered his secret in Third Year. It should not surprise her, because the truth was actually believeable with all the evidence she had, but it did. She stared into space as she leaned into her chair, thankful that she was in a secluded part of the library where most students loathed to be in. Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

It all made sense. His absence for a few days every month, why _he_ looked ill after he 'visited his sick mother' and why Remus always looked exasperated every time Potter or Black mentioned his _furry little problem._

It was not fair. Remus was kind. He was nice and Lily enjoyed being in his company. He did not deserve the curse. What would happen to him outside of Hogwarts? How did he get into Hogwarts? Wher was he going to transform every full moon? Did the teachers know? Did the Marauders know?

The last question was a stupid one because obviously, the Marauders knew. They were as thick as thieves and as inseperable as a band of brothers. As irritating as it was to admit it, she admired and respected their friendship. Because it was blatant that there were no secrets between them, no judgements and that the other three Marauders knew about Remus. And they still accepted him. Not for the first time, she envied their friendship.

A quick look at her watch told her that Severus would be joining her soon and Lily paused. Should she tell Severus what she had learnt? It was no secret that Severus thought that something was up with Remus, and if she told him, his suspicions would be confirmed. But Lily knew her friend, knew that Severus would hold Remus' lycanthropy against him and his friends, and so as quickly as she could, she returned the books she had taken into the rightful places and stashed the timetable she had monitored Remus' condition in into her beg, making a mental note to burn it in the Common Room later. And then, as though she had not found out that one of her friends was a werewolf, Lily continued with her Transfiguration homework.

"Did you hear?" Severus' voice made her look up from her work fifteen minutes later, and she raised her eyebrows at him. "Lupin's mother is sick again. I'm telling you, Lily, there's something wrong with Lupin."

"There's nothing wrong with Remus, Sev. He has a sick mother. Leave him alone," she snapped and Severus blinked at her, startled. She took a deep breath before saying, "Sorry. I'm just sick of this conversation, alright? Remus is my friend and I really don't appreciate the way you talk about him."

"So you're defending the Marauders now?" he whispered harshly, and Lily regarded him cooly. The topic of the Marauders always was always a sore issue with Severus. "Lily, they go around the school creating trouble. For the fun of it, _Potter_," he spat his schoolmate's name as though he'd swallowed a lemon, "hexed us yesterday."

"James Potter is a prat. Remus is not. So no, I'm not defending the Marauders," she stubbornly raised her voice, "I'm defending Remus, my _friend_."

"You're being -"

"If we're going to spend today arguing about this, one of us should just leave," she glared. "I'm not in the mood for this, Sev."

She just stared at him, her eyebrows raised as she awaited his decision. She was not surprised when he scowled, packed up his things and left without a word. Lily sighed, no longer in the mood to complete her essay. She rested her head on the table, tired from her discovery and her first big fight with Severus.

Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

**2.**

"It was the full moon last night," Severus whispered in Charms and Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She knew where their conversation was going, and she glanced at him with raised eyes, irritation clear on her face, but Severus chose to ignore it. He always did, evey time he tried to convince her that Remus Lupin was a werewolf. "And Lupin's not here. How _shocking._"

"You're being ridiculous, Severus," she willed herself not to look at him. The guilt she felt for lying to her friend would always be there, she knew, but she also knew that Remus' lycanthropy was his secret. If anyone was to find out about it, it would be from Remus, because Remus wanted to tell and not because of her inability to keep her mouth shut.

"I'm not though," Severus sounded so smug she looked at him curiously. "Lupin's in the Hospital Wing. I saw him and his friends there when I went down this morning to check. He was covered by the blinds, but I definitely heard Potter and Black and saw Pettigrew."

Her breath hitched, and she tuned him and her surroundings out, trying to drown out the panic in her. Severus was getting close, too close, and she could not let that happen. As calmly as she could, she coolly regarded him.

"Lupin's in the hospital because he was Pettigrew's tutor in Defense yesterday. I was in the Common Room when he got hit by Pettigrew's curse, Sev," she lied. "You should have seen Pettigrew panic. It was hilarious since Potter and Black weren't there. Of course, I had to bring him to the hospital."

It was surprising how easy it was to lie to her best friend to protect Remus. She watched from the corner of her eye as Severus slouched in his seat, and inwardly breathed in relief. She knew he was not going to find out that she lied. After all, she was the only Gryffindor he willingly talked to.

**3.**

She listened attentively to the Head Girl giving the Prefects their patrol schedules. She nodded at Frank Longbottom when they were told that they would be patrolling together on and was about to tune out the rest of the patrol schedule when she heard Remus being paired with Snape for patrol rounds on Thursday night.

She watched as Remus paled and Snape smirked. The latter then turned to her, raised his eyebrow as though to challenge her. How was she going to hide Remus' condition now? Not for the first time, she found herself scowling at the boy that had once been her best friend.

"Excuse me, Claire?" she raised her hand when the Head Girl asked if there were any problems. "I was wondering if I could switch patrol schedules with Remus."

"May I know the reason?"

_Because it's the full moon on Thursday_.

"I have a consultation with Professor Slughorn on Monday," she said instead and smiled as apologetically as she could.

Claire shrugged, "If that's alright with Remus."

Remus nodded and though the relief he felt was evident, Lily found herself frowning at what she just did. Snape was scowling in her direction and Lily resisted the childish urge to stick her tongue out at him. Something had happened between him and the Marauders a few months ago, and somehow, he had found out about Remus' lycanthropy. Lily did not know what had happened exactly, but by the way the Marauders had isolated Black up until a few weeks ago, Lily could deduce that it had been awful.

"You can't protect him forever, Lily," her former best friend growled as he pushed past her. She waited for Remus outside the room, having promised to study with him after their Prefects' meeting. She smiled at her friend when he finished conversing with the Heads and together, they set off to the Common Room.

"It's a good thing we switched patrols, Lily," Remus said and she looked at him questioningly. "I'll be visiting my mother on Thursday."

Lily could have slapped herself. Right, the sick mother excuse. She had panicked when she heard Remus being on patrol on Thursday that she forgot that he had his own excuses to give. Her first instinct had been to jump in and draw the attention away from him. Instead of beating herself up, she just sympathetically patted his arm.

"How is she?" she asked, and was amused when Remus looked to the ground as he answered that his mother's condition was still the same, and that she was still sick. Never had she noticed, but Remus was a horrible liar. To her, at least.

**4.**

She ran as fast as she could.

They had not returned the night before. They'd promised. James had promised, and James would never break a promise.

"_Have you heard? All four of the Marauders are in the Hospital Wing." _

Lily had lost her apetite at Frank's news and had immediately gathered her things. She was out of the Great Hall before her house mates could ask her whether she knew anything. After all, she had gotten quite close to the Marauders since the start of Seventh Year.

_"Apparently, they tried inventing a spell, and it backfired."_

If that was the rumour going around the school, then Lily was not going to do anything to stop it. She would bet James' broom that by the end of the day, one of the rumours would be that they had been trying to smuggle a dragon, or something. Better those ridiculous rumours than the truth.

She spotted James first and Lily could have cried in relief. He was pacing in front of two beds, scratches and bruises covering the exposed parts of his face and hands. The clothes he wore were torn and covered in dirt but Lily had never been happier to see him.

"James!"

She launched herself at him, knowing that she had caugt him in surprise when he stiffened. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer as he burried his head into her shoulders, and she buried hers into his chest. It had been a rough night for the both of them, and they needed each other right then.

A loud cough brought them both to reality and Lily unwillingly pulled herself away from James to glare at the grinning Sirius Black on one of the hospital beds. She could not stop the flutter of her heart when James stood close to her though, his hands in hers.

"Alright there, Red?" she scowled at his nickname for her. Sirius lay on the bed beside Remus', his hand in a sling and his leg bandaged, his handsome face scarred with a large scratch. At his bedside, Peter lay sleeping, seemingly the only one uninjured from their adventure. Good, that was one less idiot to worry about,

"Do you idiots really think it's funny to give me a heart attack before I reach the age of eighteen?" she sighed as she took a seat beside Remus' bed. The werewolf had been quiet since she walked in, his eyes vacant but sad. She took his hand in hers and gave him what she hoped was a kind smile. "You alright?"

Remus nodded and though she knew he was anything but, she let it slide. Instead, she turned her attention to Sirius and James, the latter of whom had made himself comfortable on the chair by Sirius' other bedside. She raised her eyes questioningly at them.

"Are either of you annoying pricks going to tell me what happened?"

When she just received shrugs in response, she opened her mouth to give those idiots a piece of her mind when Remus cut her off.

"The three of you are done," he said and though Lily looked at him in confusion, her irritation rose when the other two Marauders knowingly rolled their eyes. "I'm _serious_."

"No, I am," Sirius cheekily said and even Lily had to roll her eyes at the overused pun. Remus glared at him, unamused. "Moony, we've talked about this."

"I attacked you!" Remus screamed and Lily startled, not used to Remus' loud voice. Peter jerked awake as both James and Sirius just stared at their friend. She cast a whispered Silencing Charm and just sat back and watched the scene unfold.

"Moony, calm down. You're going to -"

"Do you know why they look like they just wrestled with the Whomping Willow, Lily?" Remus' eyes were mad, tears in his eyes as he addressed her and Lily could do nothing but stare at him with wide eyes. "Because they just did!"

"_Moony_, calm -"

"Because they became Animagi for me!"

Well, that was a new one.

"Because I'm a bloody werewolf!"

Silence. Shocked, terrified silence.

Remus was panting, his little rant over, but his face horrified from his revelation. Peter looked alarmed, Sirius was looking at Remus sadly and James was staring at her. He was waiting for her to react to Remus' outburst, she realized, and so, she turned away from him and just smiled sadly at Remus.

"I know."

"You... _You know_?" Remus sputtered and she shrugged. She knew she was the centre of attention now, with all four of the Marauders looking at her, their eyes wide at her revelation. She felt the need to explain further.

"I've known since Third Year."

"But... But that was four years ago!" the Head Boy blinked at her and she just shrugged. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it doesn't matter," she shrugged again and stood up to stand at the foot of Remus' bed. Sitting down made her squirmy.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Remus' voice was louder and angrier, his shoulders stiff and his eyebrows crinkled in frustration. "I'm a bloody werewolf!"

"I know," she repeated and when Remus just continued glaring at her lack of panic, she continued, "I don't care."

"You should," he said softly, and all his anger seemed to dissipate from him as he slouched. He looked tired, exhausted from his transformation, and resigned. Remus sighed, "I'm dangerous to those around me."

"Once a month, Remus," she patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"Doesn't change that fact, Lily," he whispered, and Lily was aware that the other Marauders had crowded around them. "I'm a danger to those I love."

"So you're scary once a month," Lily grinned as she jerked her head towards the James and Sirius. "Have you seen these prats without having breakfast? Scarier, I think."

Sirius barked out a laugh as he hugged her and Peter, still groggy, just took Sirius' bed and continued sleeping. James was smiling at her softly, that look in his eyes that made her feel like the most special girl in the world. And Remus... Well, he just looked as though he had been Stunned.

"I don't care that you're dangerous once a month, Remus. You're my friend, and it doesn't change the fact that you're too good a friend to let go. I'm not an idiot," she reminded him and he just smiled at her thankfully, too overwhelmed to speak.

Comfortable silence slipped between them and Lily just basked in the quietness. A year ago, the burden of protecting Remus was on her shoulders alone. Right then, she was protecting his secret with three others. It felt good, not being alone.

"Wait, you're Animagi?!"

"Moony admits he's a werewolf and the thing that frightens you is that we're Animagi?" Sirius shook his head disbelievingly and Lily scowled at him. James chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she leaned against him, laughing at Sirius' attempt to get Peter out of his bed.

She spent the afternoon with her boys, because that's what they had come to mean to her. The fear she had felt for them from the previous night was taking a toll on her and as she drifted to sleep on the couch beside Remus' bed, she caught bits of a conversation between James, Sirius and Remus.

"James, marry her," Sirius had said. James' reply brought a smile to her face.

"You know, Padfoot, I just might."

* * *

A/n: Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks! :)


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